I gotta rant, and ACTUALLY this time
Slut-shaming: It’s a thing.
Let me clarify on a few points here. I’m open about them, promise (You can probably already kind of see the next paragraph and believe me anyway). I am open on principle because it makes me feel like my heart is wearing a skirt that lets air in.
First of all, I have actually slept with less than two handfuls of fingers representing men. Of those people, five were not relationships but long-term hook-ups that due to my self-professed intelligence and therefore arrogance (Or rather just pure and simple self-respect) all involved the very safest sex. I’ve refused sex (As in intercourse) and refused to go farther a reasonable number of times as well. It might speak clearly and loudly about the boy that I was dating that I also slept with for obvious reasons, that once when I truly thought that he had done the obvious and applied the condom there was an interval of time that was momentarily unsafe. I realized perhaps two minutes in and had to ask to make sure, and when he said no I absolutely flipped out on him on the spot, and the next few days were not fun for my sanity. I had absolutely never envisioned myself as “that” girl, and suddenly I was terrified of the infamous missing period. Even though I always hate my periods, when it arrived I actually remember being flooded with relief. Thinking of it even now, I actually still have a desire to strangle him profusely. My blood pressure, upon further reflection, is actually significantly elevated right now.
Next. I have been actually completely under the spell of a manipulative person before. Two, actually. Both male, but they may as well be genderless. Manipulation is genderless, and slut-shaming is a form of manipulation that is propagated by both genders to control the reputations of others for the purpose of receiving ill-gotten gains (Social favors, something lame to talk about). I am not the only one of my friends who has had this unfortunate experience. One of them is most likely one of the single most intelligent people I have ever met, and will likely ever meet. It happened to her too. The point I’m trying to make is that coming from this perspective having experienced the things that I have and knowing the things that I do (None of which were fun to learn, not fun at all in fact), I know that I would never do these things to another person. Because every person has feelings and a sense of self-esteem, and messing with the very fabric of what makes them a functional human being is preposterous and unnecessary. Yet, people do it. All the time, or so it seems. Nobody in particular. Girls do it to girls, girls learn to submit to societal norms and do it to themselves, girls do it to guys, guys do it to girls. More frequently, girls bash girls and THEN guys bash girls. Guys and girls frequently bash other girls together, sometimes even collectively.
Girls bashing girls is usually (Almost always, actually) indicative of envy, unless the person in question has actually done something directly to the envious individual. Guys bash girls either because they see something they feel entitled to and will never receive, or because they are completely ignorant of the circumstances surrounding the person whom they are bashing.
So when I find out that really vile things are being said about me when I actually am 100% certain that all I ever did to offend them was sleep with a few people and I have never actually held a respectable conversation with the other persons because THEY (Not I) did not ever desire to even once hold one, I’m incredulous. At times I laugh very loudly, because it’s so… plain and simply representative of a whole lot of stupidity. And when people actually listen and weigh judgments on what is being said about me without either a) Talking to people who ACTUALLY know me in any way, aka my friends or b) Talking to me and getting to know me, which are one in the same, I begin to dismiss these individuals as being naive and spoiled with a sense of entitlement to judge, and I either feel like completely dismissing their ignorance and forgiving them for being that way, or talking directly to them not in the hopes that they will change their verdict, but in the hopes that they might change for the sake of females/males/humans everywhere.
Because come on guys, I know males who EVERYONE knows has mistreated a girl or two or three or four and are superficially loved by society because they are “funny” and “good looking”, and then there are girls of all shapes and sizes who sleep SAFELY with more than a few guys and get shit for it. For some reason, people can almost always find concrete reasons to forgive the first example. Usually, it’s “well, maybe he didn’t have a connection with her. He has a connection with this new girl, and it seems to be going well.” Much of the time, he then proceeds to mistreat her in some way as well. That doesn’t even cover the illogical verdict that it’s okay for a man to mistreat a woman and then move on seamlessly to another without a single bit of public commentary. It’s on to the next girl, but that’s “his business”. On the other hand, having safe sex to satisfy symmetrical sexual urges on the part of the girl is immediately condemned although in the act the other person (Male or not) has clearly consented. Please do not try to explain to me why any of that is logical, as I guarantee that you will fail. Remember that logic doesn’t mean “reasoning”. Reasoning can be illogical.
Yes, I am angry. No, I don’t think writing about it will change it but I really had to. Actually, on second thought, I’m much more clear-headed upon completion of this post which I think means: Some therapeutic writing really had to be done at this point. At this point I’m just all about having my voice heard and I don’t care in any way if it shocks or offends, as long as it isn’t directly degrading, unfair or singling someone out. I would argue that what I have said here is more than fair, and is even shackled with some well-placed obscenity restraints (Perhaps their placement is obvious from the context).
